Littles are little, bigs are scary

At floating world I went to a presentation on age play. I do not kink on age play. That does not mean I'm uninterested. There are lots of things in the world of kink that I find rather fascinating. Often I ask myself, how does one get off on that, and can I get off on that? I went to the session on age play, not because of getting off curiosity, but because it advertised that there would be magic tricks and coloring books. I like magic tricks and coloring books, and because expanding my knowledge tends to result in only good things.

When I got to the meeting I sat for a bit and watched. I felt very adult as I stood and made my way to the littles area. It was a comfy looking blanket surrounded by adults in silly outfits eating animal crackers, talking in baby voices and coloring. It was... interesting. I joined them.

The presenter, made some comment about the littles sitting and playing. I wanted to say, 'hey! I'm not a little! I'm just immature!' and I ought to have, but I didn't, instead I ate an animal cracker and continued coloring.

I can understand the appeal of being a 'little' but the appeal of being a big is a bit lost on me. I'm pretty switchy, and I usually get off on both sides of the coin, but in this context I don't understand. Sitting on the blanket I got into a bit of a 'little' head space. It was an interesting place to visit, but I wouldn't want to play there. It seems too tender of a place to play, but then again that is probably a large part of the attraction.

One thing I found interesting is that I'm a bit unsettled by bigs. Littles less so, I can understand the appeal, and the 'caring' bigs I kinda get, but scary bigs topping doesn't seem hot to me, just upsetting. I don't think I'd be able to maintain a little head space while playing.

In a lot of ways age play is something I simply don't have interest in sexualizing. Yet I find the head space very appealing in some ways. I've tried to make a habit of continuing to play, not in the sense of BDSM play, but in the since of child play. I make it a point to occasionally run amok and to visit playgrounds.